Post-Valentine’s Day “Be Less Cynical” Challenge

So yesterday was Valentine’s Day. Usually I’d make some jokes, post some things about how stupid this day is, etc.

But here’s the truth: I’m not actually that cynical. I pretend to be because it’s easier to make jokes than to sit with my feelings.

The truth is I still believe in love. I believe good marriages do exist (I also believe in divorce when it’s necessary, but that’s another post…).

I would love to come home to flowers and chocolates and get to spend time with my person. I’d love to get to feel special. But since I don’t have that, I make fun of Valentine’s Day instead.

 

Why? It’s easier. It makes me feel less alone. And it feels a heck of a lot better to pretend I don’t care than to admit I might want something I can’t give myself.

It reminds me of the things I wand but don’t have.

While I love being independent, I do think we all still need other people. We need companionship and support. That doesn’t necessarily have to come from a romantic partner, but either way, it can be a challenge for me to ask for help or to admit that I need other people.

 

But we all do!!

 

I recognize that hyper-independence is a trauma response, and I’m working on letting other people in.

 

Seems like most people these days are “working on themselves.” So this Valentine’s Day, I want to challenge you to work on this:

Work on being okay with admitting you have needs.

Admit when life isn’t perfect.

Admit it’s okay to want to rely on other people.

Work on getting honest with yourself. What do you actually want?

 

Laughing at yourself and using coping mechanisms have their place, but I want to challenge you to get real with yourself. Are you using humor to avoid admitting what you really want out of life?

 

We’re all works in progress, and that’s okay. You don’t have to have it all figured out right now, much less act like you do.

 

Being vulnerable isn’t my thing, and talking about *emotions* feels… icky. But if we’re going to get really honest with ourselves, sometimes we have to get out of our comfort zones.

 

So…. motto for the rest of 2022: “Let’s Get Real!”

 

Who’s in?!